Adoption and the Unwanted Mothers
How many times have we heard people encouraging others to adopt so they can give poor unwanted children a home?
Personally, I have heard this a lot. So many times that I actually associate unwanted children with adoption. It could be true, in some cases. However, there exists situations when these children are not unwanted, at all. These children are offsprings of those who others deem un-fit to be a mother. The sad fact is, they were forced into it by a social worker or a relative, even.
Adoption: Mothers in Exile is a website of/for mothers who lost their babies to the adoption industry in both closed adoptions and "open" adoptions.
"They told us we'd forget. They told us to 'get over it,' 'put it behind us,' and 'get on with our lives.' They tell our children we 'gave them away.'
Exiled mothers never forget. We never stopped loving our babies. We never stopped missing our babies."
July 9th, 2006 at 11:32 am
Thanks for posting the link to the website of the mothers who lost children to adoption. I think it is the family type that is unwanted. Many people want to “wipe out” families that are not of the “family unit” family type.
I am a mother who was raised Catholic. My family members and church members referred to single parents as “unwed mothers” and they spit out the phrase when they used it. They refused to acknowledge my motherhood. They referred to my child as “unplanned”, a “crisis”, an “it” or “the baby” (never “your baby). They did not call my baby a “bastard”, but the way they treated us both they might as well have. I know now that they were “guided” by social workers at Catholic Charities who told them it would be a “sin” to help me or acknowledge their grandbaby. Sadly, my mother suffered from the loss of her grandchild, just as I suffered from the loss of my child.
November 2nd, 2006 at 12:01 pm
Hi I run a website called Mothers In Exile – E.M.M.A (exiled mothers mobilizng for action). ive been separated by adoption for 5 years now and have compiled an informational site for links, stories and the issues.
it is encourgaing to see more and more web sites and media coverage taking an entirely different perspective.
adoption is damaging in so many ways – we have to keep making our voices loud until we can finally get change!
May 2nd, 2008 at 8:45 am
Adoption always involves loss for everyone involved. Unethical adoption is wrong.
However there are many situations were adoption is the best route – as well as open adoption being the optimal route if possible. It doesn’t have to be done under the cover of darkness or without consent.