Response from: Laura Fischer

Dear To Whom It May Concern, Hello everyone. I myself was adopted years ago in the 1980's. My thought of adoption was the same way as the statement of being abandoning their children. Over the time being, my views about adoption have changed. Please do not get me wrong, that some of us adoptees still have an empty heart or space of know our biological parents. Whoever agree please respond to my message. The best way to deal with our feelings of our ancestors are to search our routes of where we wre born, state, or country. Take Care,
Lonely: Laura

Response from: AdoptiveDad

My wife and I have never been for an open adoption for our son... in fact we've quietly discouraged any attempts to find out about his birth parents. We're just afraid that he'll love his birth parents more than he loves us. I know it's silly... but it's a definite fear we have.

Response from: Andrew Link

I think that adoption is the question of each family personally. Some people can do this, some not.

Response from: Mirah Riben

Adoption language is ever-changing, as are patterns and policies in adoption. Even the link is already outdated. Many of us touched by adoption believe that putting a "positive" spin to make adoption a fairy tale win-win and please the one "paying cutsomer' in the lopsided "triad" is the correct way to go. We prefer HONEST and TRUTHFUL language. I strongly suggest checking out:
http://www.originsusa.memberlodge.org/Default.aspx?pageId=51986

http://www.originsusa.memberlodge.org/Default.aspx?pageId=134953

Response from: ChristisKing

Adoption tears children from their rightful biological parents. All of this just makes me shudder.

Response from: Mirah Riben

Yes Christis, it does. You will find support and other like minded folk at Origins-USA.org.

Response from: Mirah Riben

How very sad - and selfish of you! I pray you get some counseling for your unwarranted insecurities. Unless you have abused your child, he will love those who were there for him and raised him, wiped his tears, supported him. The most he'd ever feel for his fmaily of origins is the way you feel about relatives: aunts, unless, grandparents. Does your love for those people of your wife detract form you love for YOUR parents!? I will tell you this, your son will have good reason to like ANYONE better than you if he finds out you intentionally kept him from knowing his truth. Family secrets are hurtful.You are doing your son a tremendous DISSERVICE!

Response from: Mirah Riben

Previous message for "Adoptive Dad"

Response from: AdoptiveDad

Mirah, I don't believe we're necessarily being selfish. It's just something we haven't worked out yet. Would you rather we plunge into an open adoption when we're not ready? I think that would be the disservice.

Response from: gravy059

The de-humanizing of adoption. N.J.S.A. 3:3-39 1[b] Sadly this is just one more law applied head-on to circumvent any form of the humanities from interfacing with the fabric of adoption integrity. As for a growing list of facilitators to allow such would not be conducive to business growth. This is for the reason that invaribily the marketing of newborn children does not effect well when moral accountability rears its ugly head. This law assures that this is not the case This is a statute that gives an adoption attorney legal clearance to steal. The tragedy of this, is that we allow it to happen.This statute is just too much temptation for an attorney, and it will continue to result the unrecognized wrongful adoption. As a whole even the recognized casee our society non-arbitralily accepts. Sheepishly, we are yet to realize that slowly each of us are singuraly homogenized by these de-humanizing laws that are set in place. We become so glaazed from the truth that when it hits us square in the face we are conditioned not to wince publicly with reproof. Very few understand that we are the enablers of wrongful adoption through our passive reaction to passed legislation with hidden agenda.

Response from: Mirah Riben

Response from: AdoptiveDad Mirah, I don't believe we're necessarily being selfish. It's just something we haven't worked out yet. Would you rather we plunge into an open adoption when we're not ready? I think that would be the disservice. Call me nuts...but you should have thought of all of this before you "jumped into" adoption. No??