The Parenting Weblog

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My in-laws are not great, they're ok. I am lucky that they instantly welcomed me in their family. I will always be grateful for that. They are always there when you need them.

That's where the problem starts. The ALWAYS. Always as in, regularly barging in the bedroom day-in and day-out. Although I've welcomed their help while I was adjusting to baby duties, now I get the feeling that they're starting to run the show. Tough, because we're just meters away from them. Don't get me wrong, they're not overbearing in-laws but rather TOO take-charge types. The problem is, I'm not the type who'd tell them outright (just like my brother-in-law) that I don't like what they're doing. I'm the exploding type. Just like Adam Sandler's character in Anger Management. With the way it's been, I'm about to burst a vein and get an aneurism. Hehe. Not really, but close. Thank god that we'll be moving in February (hooray!!!), not as far away as I would want, but far enough for now. MIL was initially not happy with the idea of us leaving because that would mean less time with my son, but we were adamant to push with the idea. Now that they've accepted that we're moving, guess what they did?! They planned (as in past tense PLANNED!) on how we'll decorate OUR flat. Thanks for taking over our lives!

I've been looking in the Net for ideas that could help me with my problem, and voila, I am not the only one having to deal with this problem.

I've highlighted several solutions from forums that I think could really help my case. Read on, it might help you too.

I agree with everyone here. My mil even though not completely overbearing is a very "take charge" type of person. She has to give you an opinion about everything- She even tried to tell me what to name my little girl!! Fortunately, My hubby and I have set some boundaries, and made an agreement. She will be the babysitter so she can get that quality time with the baby while we still remain the controlling factor. It is very difficult to find that happy medium and if they (or she) is not willing to work with you on that, then it's not your problem. But you and your hubby both need to be ont he same page on everything.

"Overbearing Mother – Before you decide that it is your mother who is overbearing, ask yourself how many times you are telling her your problems, how many times you are being perceived as needy"

Sadly you are too ignorant of the fact that you too are caught up in and part of the disfunction. There is a reason you have whiney, sniveling children that come to you to complain of their problems. Just my 2 cents.

how does one deal with in-laws (overbearing or otherwise)? make sure to make your home far, far away from both families! The physical distance will give your marriage the needed breathing space. Don't know what it'll mean as far as phone contact, but it's much easier to cut a phone conversation short than a face to face one …

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