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Expat Parenting
by Melissa Petri on August 1, 2006
My take?
I love my child and would do anything in the world to make sure that he is brought up well and has all the love that he needs from me. Having said that, I would also NOT forget that I am an individual with my own needs. That, in order for me to be a good mother, I will also not forget about ME.
Helen was brutally honest. I do not find it wrong if she thinks that some "mommy stuff" are boring. Nor do I find it wrong that she raised her children and made sure that they do not think that they are the center of the world.
Many have judged her about her parenting skills, based on an article. None of them know how her kids are like and how their relationship is. The reaction of her oldest child about her kind of parenting does not seem off to me, as well.
And I do not think I would want to "throw stones" at her by calling her a bad mother.
What about YOU? What do you think?
Permalink: Helen Kirwan-Taylor gets flak
Trackback: http://publish.creative-weblogging.com/publish/mt-tb.pl/30704
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Vote for Helen Kirwan-Taylor gets flak:
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Rating: 7.50 out of 2 vote(s) cast.
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Response from:
Reden
(08/01/06 2:26pm)
Right, judging "her" isnt the right thing to do, judging her "talent" is. Some people arent really cut out to be parents. People really should try adopting a hamster first before thinking of rearing kids...
Response from:
Melissa
(08/03/06 1:30pm)
Parenting isn't a talent. Nor would adopting a hamster (or any pet) would help one prepare for being a parent.
Helen was honest with her views but that doesn't really mean that she didn't love or do anything to care for her kids.
Helen was honest with her views but that doesn't really mean that she didn't love or do anything to care for her kids.
Response from:
monica
(08/04/06 11:29pm)
Bravo to Helen for her honesty! Why is this such a taboo subject anyway? As a single woman without children, I think kids are great - but in VERY SHORT periods of time. After 1/2 hour or so, I usually want to run screaming from the room. There is a reason why most men aren't around their own kids that much (mainly because most men are just kids themselves but that is the subject of another post - LOL). Anyway Helen - keep up the good fight. Your children will grow up to love and respect you.
Response from:
Laurie
(08/05/06 1:11am)
Thank GOD! Someone finally said what I feel! I used to be intellegent, exciting, witty and fascinating - but because I had 2 children I feel and act totally different. My whole world changed and I had to give up everything for my kids. I love them yes, but if someone would have told me - I never would have gone through all the things I went through. It's amazing how isolated one is as a stay at home mom with no income. I count down the days until my boys go to college and I can be normal again. People always laugh at me and think I'm crazy because I feel this way - but I'd love to see one of these "happy mommies" deal with my life, my kids and my surroundings. PLEASE! Thank heaven for this woman who finally is speaking a "tabu" truth. It's a reality - not just a feeling.
Response from:
sherry
(08/10/06 10:41pm)
All she wanted was some controversial publicity and yes she got it..there is nothing much to her article.
Response from:
susan
(08/11/06 9:37pm)
Very bravely and openly put by Helen...But hope she would be able to digest this same attitude back from her kids one day...'sorry but my mom bores me to death'...
Response from:
Sue Hindmarsh
(08/15/06 4:12pm)
It is great to read that quite a few women have made the decision not to have children. I’ve had two of them, and what I’ve learnt from them I could just as easily have learnt from observing other people’s children.
Having children is a 100% selfish act. It gives most women their entire existence. From indulging in this narcissistic decadence, they also receive acceptance and acknowledgment by society.
So it is great to read that there are some women out there willing to face society’s wrath by refusing to live their lives through children - if only more women were willing to do the same.
Both my children know my views on women. They have their own views. They also know that I do not expect them to do anything for me in the future – because my children were not raised to be my slaves.
Having children is a 100% selfish act. It gives most women their entire existence. From indulging in this narcissistic decadence, they also receive acceptance and acknowledgment by society.
So it is great to read that there are some women out there willing to face society’s wrath by refusing to live their lives through children - if only more women were willing to do the same.
Both my children know my views on women. They have their own views. They also know that I do not expect them to do anything for me in the future – because my children were not raised to be my slaves.
Response from:
Rusty
(08/22/06 4:19am)
The thing that truly irritates me about Ms Kirwan-Taylors comments on motherhood is the implication that one gives up one's intelligence to become a mother.
The truly intelligent parent can overcome the boring bits by taking time for themselves.
This woman comes across so very condescending and is frankly BORING in her all too predictable hunt for publicity.
Yes!! Parenthood can be boring, boring, boring, but so can anything done day after day, such as listening to silly mind numbing women as Ms Kirwan-Taylor.
The truly intelligent parent can overcome the boring bits by taking time for themselves.
This woman comes across so very condescending and is frankly BORING in her all too predictable hunt for publicity.
Yes!! Parenthood can be boring, boring, boring, but so can anything done day after day, such as listening to silly mind numbing women as Ms Kirwan-Taylor.
Response from:
Ray
(05/20/07 10:41am)
Wow!! I have to comment on this one. It's okay to voice and share your opinion...But This Helen Kirwan-Taylor is really something. I watched her interview on television.
It’s always good to hear different opinions and perspectives about parenting. Non-parents like me appreciate it. But Kirwan-Taylor is whining to the world that her kids “bore her to death” and she’s over 40. If she wants new toys like a 6 year old would, then she should be raising toys and not real children. Is that why she has maids helping her? Why would she need any? Help me out here. I mean, who made the choice to become a parent. I know “REAL” parents accept the good, the bad, the worst, and that’s right, the boring parts of the responsibility. She already made the choice of becoming a parent. Will she make the choice of becoming a “REAL” parent? That goes for every other parent and non-parent out there..
It’s always good to hear different opinions and perspectives about parenting. Non-parents like me appreciate it. But Kirwan-Taylor is whining to the world that her kids “bore her to death” and she’s over 40. If she wants new toys like a 6 year old would, then she should be raising toys and not real children. Is that why she has maids helping her? Why would she need any? Help me out here. I mean, who made the choice to become a parent. I know “REAL” parents accept the good, the bad, the worst, and that’s right, the boring parts of the responsibility. She already made the choice of becoming a parent. Will she make the choice of becoming a “REAL” parent? That goes for every other parent and non-parent out there..
Response from:
Jo
(02/11/08 1:29am)
Bravo Helen for not making motherhood to the child free individuals the ultimate aspiration! I can't stand it when women say having a child is the "best thing ever". I am afraid I disagree, I don't have children, but I can think of a lot of other things that could be categorized as the "best thing ever" but that's only my opinion and I wouldn't tell that to anyone. I have a really good friend who is a mother and as much as she loves her children and enjoys the everyday minutia of parenting (she does not find children activities boring), she tells me that since becoming a mother she has become in her own words "more stupid" and less "mentally sharp", meaning the sleepless nights and the endless repetitiveness of child rearing has dulled her former razor sharp memory and reflexes. And that she would like to have back soon and I joked to her that she will get them back when her children turned 18. I am forever appreciative of her because as my first friend who ventured into motherhood she didn't give me the false saccharine version of motherhood where she is happy all the time because her children bring her "so much joy" and all the other baloney cliches we hear.
Response from:
Muffet
(03/24/09 1:29am)
The problem isn't that Helen Kirwan-Taylor shared what most mothers often feel. The problem is that her article makes it clear that her children KNOW she feels that way about them!
I have often been bored by some aspects of parenting, but I GUARANTEE that my children were never aware of it. Parenting is a sacrifice. Part of that sacrifice is keeping adult feelings to ourselves.
Helen Kirwan-Taylor prides herself in being an intellectual but her children are going to have a difficult time becoming intellectuals themselves with a mother like her.
Grow up, Helen Kirwan-Taylor! Your children need a mature adult for a mother!
I have often been bored by some aspects of parenting, but I GUARANTEE that my children were never aware of it. Parenting is a sacrifice. Part of that sacrifice is keeping adult feelings to ourselves.
Helen Kirwan-Taylor prides herself in being an intellectual but her children are going to have a difficult time becoming intellectuals themselves with a mother like her.
Grow up, Helen Kirwan-Taylor! Your children need a mature adult for a mother!
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