We are here, three hours away from home at this soccer tournament. Yesterday was brutal and they just got hammered, 8-1 and 5-1. UGH.

This soccer program is good but $500 a year is a lot for soccer and that doesn't cover the travel. This year we've been one a ton of day trips and two weekend trips. It adds up when you start looking at gas, hotel, food and supplies. Then add in the time involved with two 90 minute practices a week that never seem to end right on time.

However my daughter really likes it. Moving up to this level of play was her choice. She had completely had it with rec soccer, too many kids who didn't really want to play hard. The coach on this team is very good with the kids and not a screamer. The players and families are generally nice and she'd made some friends she really likes.

My quandary is how to deal with my daughter afterwards. Each child is unique and what motivates them is different. Something that will fire up a kid might crush the spirit of another. This team is just eight and nine year old children. I just tell our child to do her best and hustle, to be a good teammate and have fun.

After getting hammered yesterday, my daughter wasn't really upset. She wasn't even sure if they had lost the last game. I know this is about learning more than winning but sheesh, it was 8 to 1 - how do you miss that? I don't want her angry, fuming over the loss but I'd like to see a bit of pride about things and not really that carefree. Even if just for about five minutes!

They had ice cream party last night and she had a teammate sleep over. Of course we let them have fun and goof off before they had to get to sleep. They are children, I'm not going to overburden them.

I just wonder what a good parent's role in this should be. When do we apply some pressure or do we let that naturally evolve in her? Or do we leave it to the coaches? Do we help evaluate her game? We know she has good and bad games - do we help her find out what the difference is or what contributed to that?

What is the best plan for our child to keep her from being burnt out but still achieve the things we know she can?