contributed by Gloria Gamat, via Creative ReporterEvery time I try to think of the perfect parenting situation, I picture that I work part time (if not a home based job); at most 5 hours a day giving me enough time with my son and have dinner ready before my working husband comes home each night. That at least is my concept of an ideal home. Though it may not be perfect (husband probably has a low paying job or a male chauvinist bum) but at least the child can shift to seek attention from one parent to another, each time one or the other just had too much of the other stuff to have enough energy left to pay attention to the child. Looking at that perspective, 2 halves each from both parents would complete the child.

But that remains a concept, a delusion even, or a dream: whichever side of the coin one would like to look at it. It has been three years and I would like to believe that I have all corners of single parenting covered. Most shaky stages are over I guess, at least from my perspective. But from my child's, may be not.

While it is true that I have more independence (in all aspects) than other moms who are wives too, I am doubly stressed than they would be. Each night I come home to an overly-eager attention-seeker that is my son. He seeks my attention so much it becomes annoying, at times suffocating. He's turned overly possessive of me; I can't even have a decent conversation with anyone (even with his nanny) with him around (and awake

Truly, it warms my heart that I am the world in my son's eyes, and he's just probably bored the whole day with a nanny who pays more attention to the laundry than doing creative activities with him (even if I clearly instructed otherwise). That would most probably explain the over-excitement when I come home even with take-out dinner, tired and raring to hit the pillows. But boys will always want rough plays that never end. (I think boys play even in their sleep!) This is one of the rare moments I wish he has a father living with us so they can play rough to their hearts' content while I watch in peace, take heart photos of them, write (or blog) the many thoughts brewing in my head or just simply do the dishes before going to bed

Too bad I am in a society that doesn't accept a less than three year old at nursery school. (If there is, there's none in my immediate vicinity that I can afford.) Since my son just turned three last December, I have to wait another six months before a new school term begins (in June). I really cannot wait. My son needs to burn that extra energy, not with me, but with other people as well: prospective teachers and classmates. Until then, I remain one tired mommy (for lack of a better term).

Gloria is a proud single-mom to Raine and a Chemist working on rice research. Gloria also blogs about motherhood at EMothersOnline and about life and travel in the Philippines at The Philippine Culture Blog and at Pinoy Travel Blog respectively.