I need time alone
I do not know how many times I have lamented the fact that I need some time alone. Much as I love my son, there are moments when I crave for the time to do something without being interrupted by a toddler who needs my full attention.
In my mind, I have so many plans. Too many that if I map it all out, I would probably need 2 whole months alone.
Note that from time to time, I do get some time off. Time when I can play hooky and do whatever I need to do, while my son happily plays with his mates in the Kindergarten.
From time to time, I also find myself with a couple of evenings alone during business trips. Time when I can actually be productive by writing up a storm.
But even as I find myself with all those free time wherein I could do at least half of what I have been Dreaming of doing, I still find myself doing the exact opposite. Instead, when I have a free day at home, I find myself waking up early just in time to tell my husband that he should not bring my son to the kindergarten. All because I wanted time alone WITH my son.
And when I do find myself alone in the evenings, far away from home, you will not see me typing away in my laptop. Instead, I spend each night, calling home. Many times.
Much as I complain, in the end, I still would want to spend the free time that I have with my son. I still would rather have time alone WITH him than spend that time doing something else. I still would rather bond with him and let everything else wait. Perhaps, when he is older and would rather be out with friends than stay home with me, I can then do what I have been planning to do when I finally get my time alone.
March 2nd, 2006 at 8:06 pm
That was the hardest thing I found, too… needing my time for me when me was needed.
How to make time??? Someday they’ll all be gone and then we’ll have all the time in the world…
March 3rd, 2006 at 3:09 am
“Someday they’ll all be gone and then we’ll have all the time in the world…”
Exactly!!!