In a couple of months (on his next birthday) my son Raine is turning three. Three years to remind me that I've been trying my hand at single parenting which rather started by accident. (Raine is a love child but his father never wanted him.) Three long years that I've juggled work and motherhood; I never looked back.

Though I feel proud of what I've done and accomplished so far, I most of the time feel inadequate as a mother per se. I always wish that I have more time not to think about work and our (shaky) financial status. I wish that I have frequent less-stressed state of mind so I can freely give in to my son's clamor for more play time; more instances to simply tolerate his whining little ways without my brain wandering somewhere else. I simply wish that I could indulge him more, in many different ways without losing my cool

The two of us have probably bickered more than any average mother-son teams and there's probably more shouting and loud voices in our house than anybody else's. Raine has probably had more TV time and had been in too much disciplinary action than the average toddler. The Parenting Police, if existent, would love to see me rot in jail. For it may think that I've broken too many rules and is being a little bit too much on my kid. But I strongly believe that pruning a tree starts while the branches are still soft; imposing discipline starts at day one of a child's birth. While I allow extended bed wrestles, increased daily quota on sweets and nth time re-run of my son's favorite video; I too alone blows off the final whistle at Raine's bed time.

IN those three years of raising my son, I relied mostly on my maternal instincts and the principles that I live by and grew up with. I plan to continue on with such a strategy in the next 30 years if needed.

Amazingly enough, my son is growing into an intelligent, emphatically sweet, affectionate individual who's got a very upfront way of expressing himself. Raine is one who knows what he wants and likes; one who has no problem agreeing or disagreeing as aptly necessary in his own volatile way. He is actually growing into an emotionally and mentally mature kid. More than I am willing to give him credit for. I'm not exactly sure how that came about. May be less baby talk did the trick? I don't know. I just talked to him like an adult since day one and told him everything. I'd like to think that he understands it all.

I do have a mother residing some 600 kilometers away from us who has always been willing to take and raise Raine at my go signal. Honestly, I lost of the many instances that I almost succumb to such a tempting offer whenever I get a hair-thick close to burning my patience thread.

In spite of the difficulties, I never regretted keeping Raine and juggling my roles. Our little house may be full of bickering and loud noises; it is also a house where one is allowed to freely express one's sentiments; a house full of respect, understanding and so much love that it can hold; for me and Raine, that is home.

Now, looking at how favorable Raine is turning out to be, assures me that despite my shortcomings, I'm doing something right after all.

via Creative-Reporter,
Glo Gamat is a proud single-mom to Raine (Rainier Brando: born 29 December 2002) and a chemist working as a Researcher at the International Rice Research Institute (IRRI) based in Los Ba�os, Laguna.