parenting
Letter to Mom
Filed in archive Parenting by Melissa Petri on June 26, 2006
Letter to Mom
I still remember those days when I'd be coming home from school, nervous of the thought of handing my report card to my parents. I wasn't into creative writing but I did spare my parents a temporary heart attack which this letter would have probably given them, had I thought of it myself:

Dear Mom,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I've been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it's not only the passion Mom, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that's now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don't worry Mom, I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith

PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I'm over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that's in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

Now that I am a mother, I still see the funny side of this letter. Although, I would rather that any future daughter of mine (I have 2 sons) spare me of this kind of joke.

What about YOU? Would you still be able to see the funny side of this?

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Tags: letter  to  mom  parenting  kids  hedge+funds  please+enter  social+networking 
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