Playing Favorites
When my husband and I found out that I was pregnant, one of our first concerns was to make sure that our oldest son is not neglected.
Since I gave birth, all of the adults around my son have been very careful to give him as much attention as we give my newborn.
Problem is, my husband has been overdoing it. To the point that he drops everything as soon as my oldest son calls him. Even if and when my newborn son is screaming and crying, my husband puts him down and goes to my older son.
Thank God that my baby is still too young to notice this lapse in Judgment. I have told my husband often enough to be careful lest this becomes a "habit" even until my baby starts to understand and notice that he is playing favorites. This has to stop before it becomes damaging for both children.
I do not want this to happen because I know how it is. For the longest time, especially during my teens, I suffered from the "middle child syndrome". However, rather than become a loner and fight for my parents' attention, I made sure that I was always out of the house and spent time with friends who gave me the attention I needed.
I got myself into all sorts of trouble and am thanking god that I dug myself out of the hole I made just in time. I do not want any of my kids to experience the same thing I did.
I will definitely keep track of how my husband (and I) treat our kids. Today was round 2 of our argument about playing favorites. And I will not stop until I see changes. And it should happen soon.
But… what else can I do? I am thisclose to banging a pan on my husband's hard head.
RELATED ENTRY FROM A DIFFERENT SITE: Having a Favorite Child
December 16th, 2006 at 1:18 am
I used to think that birth order was a lot of hogwash – I was the middle child of three. Now that I have four of my own, I’m not so sure that it’s rubbish. Just by dint of the amount of time you have available for the first child, I don’t know how that experience could be repeated without a nanny or additional stay at home adult.
Best wishes