by Stephanie D.,
via Creative ReporterWhen I reflect upon this year with regards to my son and his personality changes, it truly makes my mind spin. Just a year or two ago, I remember talking frankly with my husband about my concerns that our son's most meaningful and close friendships were only with other four- and five-year-old girls, but that he didn't seem to know how to relate to boys as much.

The end to my son's shy toddler years was marked with a surge of aggressiveness. I would not call him a serial "hitter," and definitely not a bully, but he did like to test the limits with his Mom or Dad watching. He wasn't beyond taking a swing at another child, just to see what the folks would do. This lead to a lot of parenting stress. And, to be perfectly honest, it also prompted definite overreaction on our part. He was our first child and we freaked out at this behavior. I was not able to field the appalled looks from other moms or the judgment those looks insinuated. I did not understand what had taken hold of my darling and loving little three-year-old that year.

So, my husband and I made it completely clear that no hitting was allowed, EVER! The message must have gotten through, because by the age of four he was back to his sensitive and sweet little self. But, because of the anti-aggression campaign at home, we had unknowingly hindered our son socially. You see, all little boys who are three and four do some hitting. They also do a lot of wrestling, ninja fighting ,and they are even known to body slam on occasion. But, if our son wasn't happy playing Power Rangers with the boys, where did that leave him?

Of course, he befriended the girls. Girls didn't kung fu fight. They wanted to play pretend and do imaginative things, and this was perfect for our little boy. Before long, I'd often hear him say, "I just like the 'grils,' Mom." (His pronunciation of girls was just priceless!) But, by the time he was five, I became concerned that he was going to be cast out of the boys club altogether if he did not make some friendships with his own gender. Luckily, he did make friends with the boys in his pre-kindergarten class. He actually had about the same amount of boy friends to karate chop as he did girls to play animal vet or make colorful posters and cards.

Kindergarten has ushered in a new phase for our son. And, if he hadn't had his serious love affair with girls, I might not have been thrown for a loop by this latest one. We have officially entered the "girls have cooties" era. No sooner than our son had a few weeks of kindergarten behind him, he had decided to go on full shut-down mode with any friends of the female persuasion. He came home rattling off the names of several of the boys in his class. And, when I asked him about the little girls at his school that he played with non-stop the year before, he did not have a lot to say.

Unfortunately, this has made for some awkward moments for me, since some of these old girl pals are daughters of dear friends of mine. How do I explain to these mothers that their daughters, do in fact have little bugs crawling on them in the eyes of my ever-changing son? How do I express that actually there is some level of relief in my mind that he feels this way right now, after worrying about his inability to relate to other boys in the past? But, most of all, I wonder will I be able to eventually teach my son that not all girls are bad and he can, in fact, have them as friends without the world coming to an end?

Girl cooties or no girl cooties, this year for my son has been a roller coaster ride of change. And, that, in turn means that his Mom and Dad have had to learn to change as well. There is no doubt in my mind, this thrill ride of parenthood will take us on many strange twists and turns before we can say we've raised our boy. I only hope that we can learn to throw our hands up and squeal with fear and delight as he takes us wherever he plans to go, instead of covering our eyes and holding our breath the whole way.

Stephanie D. is a freelance writer and stay-at-home mom who previously worked in the software industry for many years as a technical writer/editor. When she is not writing freelance projects or shuttling her kids to activities, she enjoys reading, scrapbooking, and writing on her personal blog, Crazy MomCat.