I was born in 1970. I have vivid memories and grainy photos of the birthday parties of my youth - backyard events with games and cake and once, even a party at local McDonald's. The idea was more about just having simple fun and letting the kids run around.

It seems like now the pendulum has swung completely the other way and the parties have become a social event season for kids. The entertainment level is over the top and things are way over the top. Examples like parties where you are asked to bring a $100 doll and $500 tea parties for eight children are a bit much. Limos and hotel stays for eight year olds? Yow. Not to mention the huge pile of gifts that the birthday kids get at these parties. When did the tables turn? I find more and more parents talk about this issue.

I confess, I've bought into this epidemic myself. I didn't mean to but my daughter and I are both horrible at limiting who we invite. We started this social thing with a medium party at putt-putt several years ago, then bigger one at Pump It Up and then it got way too out of hand.

I'm all for inviting more kids because I hate excluding anyone but we ended up at almost THIRTY kids for her last birthday where we had rented most of a gym floor for the kids to play games, use the trampolines and ball pits. I had a baker do lovely cupcakes and the goodie bags rocked. We did pizza for all the kids and adults too. The bill was horrible and I swore I never go that far again. I was very uncomfortable with all those gifts too. No kid needs that many gifts on top of her family's gifts.

This is my fault and I need to correct it. I've given into the need to impress people with big parties. To somehow make the event a whole production. So the time for all of that has stopped for us.

We are still going to have a good sized party but at a local place that is reasonable priced and has half-bounce inflatables and half-Wiis. We'll have a normal cake from Target and the party place will do inexpensive giftbags.

There is no limit to the people you can have so yeah, we'll still have a pile of kids. However we will not have a pile of gifts - at least not for my daughter.

Have seen that ASPCA commercial with Sarah McLachlan singing? It breaks our hearts to see those animals in need and my daughter asked to donate her allowance. She was just very upset over it all so we came up with a plan.

We went the local SPCA website and low and behold, they had a needs list. She wanted to get items for it and I suggested maybe she could have her friends bring gifts for the SPCA animals instead of gifts for her. I thought she might balk at the idea but she was through the roof excited about it.

She is showered with gifts from many family members so she knows she going to get a ton anyway and she loves animals. She is so excited to get all the stuff and bring it to the shelter - I think that is what is making her the most excited. She's told some of her friends and they are all tickled about going to pet stores to get items on the list - and especially the nursing bottles for the baby animals. I'm so happy her friends got on board with this.

I'm not trying to take away my child's birthday gifts but 20 plus gifts from just friends is too much. I want her to have a great party but let's celebrate getting older and the friends and family in your life - not excess consumerism. Plus I like the mess she is learning - that you can make a difference in your community.