Nine Years have gone by for me in the job title "Mother"; it is a challenging job like no other.

Everyone tells you about this wonderful world of parenthood, were the best thing that ever has happened is having children. Enjoying the time you have with them and teaching them about all the wonders of life. And not to mention the moment as you see your child sleeping so quietly and peaceful and you just smile to the feeling you get, the overwhelming love you have for your child, the joy of knowing this child will always be one of your greatest achievements in life and all the negative moments from the day just seem to be forgotten.
These are feelings that are acceptable and "legitimate" to say out loud. But no one wants you to say the other feelings you might carry and feel paralyzed by from time to time.
No one tells you about the other world of parenthood. The world you only meet when you take on the role "parent", the unwelcome feelings that you experience and at times dwell on. Feelings that make you question your ability to be a parent and make you feel as a horrible parent because no one else seems to have had these feelings.

Once I told my mother that I hated the fact that my son is afraid of everything, that it frustrated and irritated me like nothing else. She told me that I was not allowed to feel that way, that it was wrong, it was wrong of me to say that. This moment opened up my eyes to the fact that as a parent you are not allowed to be an individual anymore, you get a specific pre acceptable notion of what you can and can not feel.

No one tells you this; this is not something everybody knows as it is never spoken off, is there not time were this side of the story should be out there so that when you dive into parenthood you know that there is more to the book than just the cover.
There was a time where sex was taboo and abuse should not be talked about, now these intimate sections have become part of our every day life but one of the most important one seem to still be kept hidden way from the public eye.

I say to become a better parent you have to be able to speak openly about the feelings you carry and get understanding for your frustration as you get for your joy of parenthood.

About the author: As a young single mother in Iceland, living under hard condition of the Icelandic system I took my bags and moved to Denmark, were the system allows the people to have a family. I then found my fiancé here in Denmark and we live together raising my son that was born in 1997.
I finished a 2 year Multimedia Design education and moved on to study BA-Media science, it is not long until I finish my BA and then I will go on to the Masters degree in Media science.
My motto is: "You can never lose by asking, only gain."
My favorite book is The Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.
And finally what I enjoy doing in my free time is, drawing, painting, making (computer) designs, playing computer games, read, write stories and poems.