Margaret asks, "I'm doing research to find out about stresses of moms with a new baby, who also have a toddler at home. How is it going with meeting the needs of the toddler while caring for the baby? I'm focusing not on babycare, but on how well moms feel they can keep their toddler happy and involved in good activities. What goes well for you; and what is frustrating or difficult? Is this situation in itself a challenge or not to you moms out there?"

If I could schedule when my baby needs to be fed and when he needs me to carry him as he observes the world around him VS. the time when my toddler needs me to help him get something and play with him then, life would be easier. That would have been my perfect world.

Alas, there is no such thing as a perfect world.

More often than not, while my baby is latched onto my breast, my toddler is asking for attention. And that is the most frustrating part. I only have one body, 2 hands and 2 pairs of eyes that need to go the same direction.

What I do is... whenever my baby is asleep, I play with my older son. And when the baby needs my attention, I point my older son's attention to something which he can do or play with on his own. Of course, it doesn't work all the time but, from time to time, I do get lucky.

Another thing that helps me the most is the use of Baby Björn. Sometimes, all my baby need is body contact. With a baby carrier, I can keep him close and satisfied while I attend to my other son's needs.

As for household chores, they are the least of my priorities. Those dirty dishes and scattered toys can wait.

As for my needs... I wait until my husband arrives.

Should you be going through (or have gone through) the same situation of toddler + baby, do take the time and help Margaret with her research. You can email her at dmkskitterman@hotmail.com.