[photo source: OBlock Books]



A Mom's PerspectivePublic school can be an eye-opening place for the rookie parent. I am learning that this year. My son was as prepared as he could possible be for his elementary school debut. He'd had Mother's Day from age of two, he graduated on to a well-respected preschool, and at five he took a pre-kindergarten class five days a week (because of a late birthday). He started elementary school at age six, a full year ahead of some of his classmates.

While the choice to hold him back one more year until he was six was a really difficult one for his Dad and me, I have learned since that there are almost as many six-year-olds in his class as there are five-year-olds. And, now, I have some inkling of why too.

Public school has changed from my youth. My memories of kindergarten include learning "the Letter People," playing games, recess time, learning numbers and counting, and most of all learning about sharing and getting along with others. When my son started school, it was expected that he already know how to do most of those things. We were told he did not need to know how to read, but should be able to write his whole name as well as his alphabet.

I sat at the bus stop those first few months and listened to parents talk of how they had their children tutored all summer in special advanced reading programs to prepare them for school. After several anxiety attacks, I became agitated. Why do parents have to put that kind of pressure on their kid before school even starts? School is supposed to be fun! Enough is expected of them already--so much more than we had to know at that age. Why couldn't these parents relax already?

Now, with more than half the school year behind us, I know the answer to that question. Parents can't afford to relax. Why? Because the school won't let them. I have discovered a hidden secret that lies within the walls of our state-ranked Exemplarily rated school. Administrators and teachers will speak of kids learning at their own pace and how the school embraces that without pressuring them. What they don't talk about are the hidden pressures put on parents to advance their kids' beyond their grade level. Most of the time, this is done quite discretely. It starts by convincing one parent to put their average student into tutoring. Then, it is like a domino effect, other parents scrambling to also get their children tutoring even if they don't need it--just to keep ahead. No one wants to be the domino that falls first. Teachers say that this is just not necessary. But, with the work in front of these kids, and the curriculums laid out for them the next year, parents must face that writing on the wall and realize their children cannot possible make it without additional help.

A recent news program discussed the state of education in the United States versus other countries. Apparently, we fall quite behind once children get to middle school and high school. I had to chew on this information for awhile, because I had trouble believing it. Then, I realized that maybe this kind of information is responsible for the panic among educators and parents to get kids ahead of the game in the early years. What seems to happen though is that by third or fourth grade, parents and teachers have mellowed and school work is only repetition of previous years.

There is a big gap here that must be addressed in our education system. It is time to focus on advancing and supporting our children as they mature, not just as they start their school experience. More than this, perhaps it is time for parents of early school-aged children to put a stop to all the pressure. Kids grow up fast enough, don't they? Can't we find a nice happy medium between raising stressed out and over-achieving kids to raising kids who are so very behind the curve? Or are our own anxieties preventing us from letting them enjoy their youth just as we did so many years ago?

via Creative Reporter,
by Stephanie Donovan, a freelance writer and stay-at-home mom who previously worked in the software industry for many years as a technical writer/editor. When she is not writing freelance projects or shuttling her kids to activities, she enjoys reading, scrapbooking, and writing on her personal blog, Crazy MomCat.