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What To Do When Your Child Has A Problem

Filed in archive Parenting by Melissa Petri on February 13, 2006

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In the face of adversity and trials, we all cherish the gift of a listening ear and an understanding heart. But sometimes, we don't get what we wish for. Here is an example:

My mom calls upon learning that her grandson is sick. She offers all kinds of solutions on how to make him better. Do I feel grateful for her advice? No! Instead I find myself irritated and getting contentious. I wondered to myself why did I react so negatively towards her? Did she have good intentions? Definitely. So why the ill feelings? Because it wasn't what I wanted to hear. What I needed to hear was something like "Tell me what you're doing....That's good. I can see you're doing the best you can. It is tough. He's in good hands."

Well, the above episode got me thinking, please don't let me make the same mistake with my children. As parents we have a tendency to think we were put on this planet to solve all our children's problems. Yeah, to a certain extend we do have that responsibility. But while we are busy playing Mommy/Daddy-Fix-It, we must not neglect to support and compliment. Don't you agree that the many times we pour our troubles, fears, and anxieties on someone else is to seek for empathy and support and not so much to seek for solutions?

We have to remember that diseases, illnesses, accidents and natural disasters are not the only killers in this world. Words are just as powerful as they effect the human soul. More important than playing Ms-Fix-It, be Ms-Listen-Support-and-Compliment.

by Ai Lian Lim via Creative Reporter,
Ai was a national golfer who gave up the medals and jet setting lifestyle to experience the wonders of motherhood. She currently owns http://valuebookshop.com, a children's bookstore for parents in Malaysia and Singapore.


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