Filed in archive by Creative Weblogging on June 9, 2006

Are you a parent of minor children who is considering getting divorced? If you are, you should be aware of the risks of Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS), whether or not you plan to be your children's custodial parent.

According to Dr. Richard A. Gardner of Columbia University's Department of Child Psychiatry, College of Physicians and Surgeons, Parental Alienation Syndrome refers to systematic attempts by a custodial parent to destroy the a custodial parent's relations with their children. Custodial parents engaging in parental alienation will use a number of effective techniques to make it impossible for their child to enjoy a normal relationship with their non custodial parent.

Below are some of the main symptoms of PAS.

1. Allowing children to decide if they will have visitation with their non custodial parent. Most court orders do not allow children to decide whether or not they will see their non custodial parent. Asking the child's opinion about visitation sets the child up for conflict.

2. Giving the child too many details about how the marriage went wrong. Most children are not equipped to be objective about a subject as adult-oriented and personal as their parents' relationship with each other.

3. Refusing to give the non custodial parent access to school or medical records and information about the child's school progress or participation in extracurricular activities.

4. Blaming the other parent for financial problems, breaking up the family, lifestyle changes, or having a new significant other or spouse.

5. Refusing to be flexible about visitation. This includes not allowing non custodial parents to make up visits that are missed due to circumstances beyond their control.

6. Falsely claiming that the other parent is abusive.

7. Asking the child to choose one parent over the other and acting hurt or sad when the child has a good time with the non custodial parent.

8. Unreasonable anger toward the non custodial parent that doesn't go away, especially if the child cannot give the non custodial parent a specific reason why they're angry.

9. The parent or stepparent raises the question about changing the child's name or suggests adoption.

10. The custodial parent sets up activities that interfere with visitation. Suspect PAS if something "suddenly" comes up before visitations on a frequent basis.

11. Making demands on the other parent contrary to court orders. This can include ignoring what's in the court order.

12. Listening in on the children's phone conversations with the other parent or turning off the ringer so the child isn't aware when the non custodial parent calls.

Be informed about the risks of PAS before you get divorced. No child should have to live with the consequences of PAS!